Pulling Strings

Confession: I restrung the guitar about 10 days ago and was too afraid to play it for a week! Seriously, I couldn't even look at the case without imagining something horrible happening in there, like the guitar neck snapping in two from the tension, strings sproinging out every which way, or bridge pins shooting into my face. At night, I dreamed of the attack of the Killer Guitar with its sharp, stringy teeth.

Finally, my itchy fingers got the better of me. I unsnapped the case, cautiously lifted the lid an inch, flinched, and finally pushed it all the way open. All six strings were intact, and the guitar looked good as new. Phew! After tuning it and tuning it and tuning it some more, I can say we are friends again. I also like the new strings, which are thicker and—forgive my lack of proper jargon here—louder than the factory strings. Now, I just wish I could play something besides block chords.

The restringing process itself was rather educational. Things you should not do:

• Pop your bridge pin into your sound hole. If this happens, I recommend skipping the suicidal thoughts and going straight for a pencil with a piece of Scotch tape attached to the eraser. If you're good at those tilt games with ball bearings, so much the better. Roll that pin into position and lower your rescue pencil. (NOTE: If you accidentally fling the pin outside of your guitar, you will probably need a bigger pencil.)


• Slice open your hand on a new string like a sissy. Those things are sharp—cat-claw sharp. Just don't do it. No one wants to see you bleed all over your guitar, unless maybe you're Jack White. But you're not. At least, I'm not.


• Get all cocky when you finally get the strings on the guitar, like, two hours later. You know that big dog cage at the foot of your bed? Still there. So, don't start walking around holding your guitar aloft like it's the frickin' Ark of the Covenant until you've checked the foot path between you and your case. You may not use your toes to play the guitar like this guy, but you still need them to walk your guitar to its case, now don't you?